


Unbirthdays and Mango Chutney

by dametokillfor



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:11:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili might be the worst nephew ever, but he's probably the best husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbirthdays and Mango Chutney

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinkerMel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinkerMel/gifts).



> So, today is my little sisters birthday, and due to shipping issues, her present hasn't shown up. So I wanted to defeat bad shipping with good shipping, her favourite ship at the moment, and thus this little bit of fluff was born. 
> 
> I haven't written these two before, so my apologies if this is a bit naff.

Tauriel can hear the noises from the end of the garden path, the grunting, the cursing, the banging. She wants to be curious, but finds herself mostly irritated. The day has been long, busy and the idea of entering a disaster area a house is not something she's too keen on right now. 

"FILI, STOP."

She rubs at her eyes, pulls up her shoulders and summons her best happy smile. Her husbands brother is there as well, the house is going to be an absolute disaster zone.

She pushes open the front door, starts to call out when she's greeted by her husband sliding - literally - out of the kitchen door.

He bumps into a wall, in an attempt to stop, and pulls himself together.

"Hi, honey!"

"Kili, what's going on?" She asks, using her superior height to peer over his shoulders towards the kitchen, where there are way too many voices. 

"DON'T LOOK IN THERE!" Kili almost screams, before realising how frantic he sounds, "I mean, hey, baby."

Tauriel raises a perfect brow at him, "Baby? Now I know something is going on."

"What? No, dollface..."

"Kili."

"Lovemuffin?"

"Please stop, Kili."

"Okay." He seems defeated, "But really, there is nothing going on. Are you home early? It feels like you're home early. Not that I don't love seeing you, but I could have been naked."

Tauriel rolls her eyes, kisses him on the head, "You're an idiot."

Kili doesn't have a response to that. 

"Okay. I'm going to go and shower, and whatever is going on…"

"There's nothing going on! You're so suspicious." He laughs nervously, peering back at the kitchen.

"Whatever isn't going on, you've got til I'm done to finish it."

Kili nods, "Okay, we… I can do that. We? There's no we. Why would there be a we? Please take a long shower."

There's a loud crash from the kitchen, and a voice Tauriel recognises as Kili's friend, Bofur, hissing curses at something.

Tauriel smiles at him, squeezes his shoulder, "I'll take a bath."

\--x

When Tauriel returns downstairs an hour later, relaxed and refreshed, the house is eerily silent.

She's not entirely sure this is a good thing.

"Kili?" She calls out, her voice echoing off the dark wood walls. 

"In here!" He replies, nervously. 

His voice is coming from the large dining room. She's still not used to the house, a wedding gift from his uncles partner, Bilbo. He'd been unwilling to live in such a large house alone after the sickness had taken Thorin, and had felt it would be much more suited to the young couple, to fill with children. There had been none as yet, but they were enjoying all the practice making them.

Tauriel follows his voice, enters the dark room only to have her breath stolen away. The big lights in the room are off, large wrought iron candelabras sit in each corner, white candles glowing. The fire is burning hot, casting a warm glow about the usually dark room. The dark wooden table in the centre of the room features a smaller candelabra, but that isn't what draws Tauriel's eyes. 

The table is filled with food, wooden plates and bowls piled high with fish and salads, fruit and bread, delicious food that Tauriel knows Kili does nothing but complain about. Kili is stood at the end of the table, in a dark blue shirt and dress pants. His hair is clean, tied back in a bun. He holds a bottle of white wine, Tauriel's favourite. 

Tauriel touches her own damp waves, feels suddenly self conscious about her ratty t-shirt and pyjama pants. 

"I'm underdressed."

"I'd argue you're overdressed." Kili says with a smirk.

He puts the wine on the table, walks around to where Tauriel is stood and pulls out her chair.

"What is all this for?" Tauriel asks, as she takes a seat.

"Your birthday." Kili explains.

"Which is next week." 

"Exactly!" Kili says. He sounds excited, as if he's about to impart something amazing, "See, next week, you'd expect something like this, no matter how hard I tried to make it a surprise. But this week, you'd have no idea."

"Except for all the noise in the kitchen." Tauriel points out.

Kili's face drops. Tauriel leans up, pulls him into a kiss, "I love it, I do. But your friends are _really loud_."

"Just because yours are really quiet. It's creepy. I swear, Thranduil kept sneaking up behind me just to hear me scream."

"Thranduil was here?" 

Thranduil had never approved of Kili. He'd been convinced that the younger man was going to break her heart, that his family was no good. He hadn't even attended their wedding, his son had had to walk Tauriel down the aisle. It had broken Tauriel's heart, he'd been so important to her growing up, knowing that he really couldn't approve of her marriage was agony. 

"That new boyfriend of his, Bard? He works with Fili, he found out what we were planning and told Thranduil he was helping." He picks up the wine from the other end of the table, brings it across to pour Tauriel a glass.

"Told? Thranduil?"

"I was as surprised as you." Kili says, pouring himself a glass of the wine and taking his seat opposite her, "But he came and he helped. He picked out the menu, helped us make it. He only threatened me four times."

Tauriel can't help but smile, "That's practically nothing."

"Downright civil for Thranduil."

They share a laugh, before Kili gestures to the table, "Go ahead, try it."

Tauriel reaches for one of the warm pitta breads, dunks it in the orange hummus that sits in the middle of the table. It's delicious, it's rich and creamy and perfect.

"This is delicious!" She says, reaching across the table to offer a bite to Kili, "Try it."

"I…" Kili makes the mistake of opening his mouth to speak, lightning quick reflexes have the food in Kili's mouth before he can reject it.

She laughs at the way his.face screws up as he chews the food, shallows it as fast as he can before grabbing the wine, "That isn't food!"

She plucks a grape from a fruit bowl and throws it at his head, "Shut up!"

He glares at her as she pops another in her mouth. He reaches for the pot of chutney in the centre of the table, grabs a spoonful out of it.

"Kili..."

There's a devilish grin on his face as he gets ready to aim it at her.

"Don't you dare, don't you dare!"

She shrieks and ducks under the flying mango . There's a hysterical laugh coming from the other side of the table when she looks up. Kili is nearly doubled over. He points to the wall behind her. She turns to see that Kili's chutney projectile has hit the portrait of his uncle square in the rather prominent nose.

She can't help her own giggles, quickly flings another grape at him. "Bilbo trusted us with that!"

"It's fine! You can just lick it off!"

"I am not licking chutney off your uncles nose!" 

"Well I can't do it, he's my uncle, it'd be weird." Kili insists, "Do you think we should get Bilbo to do it? One last thrill for old Uncle Thorin?"

"You're the worst nephew ever."

He grins widely, "But the best husband ever, right?"

She smiles, "Well," another grape is thrown at him, which he expertly catches in his mouth, "You're pretty close."

\---x


End file.
